1. |
Jigsaw Piece Flaw
04:03
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a tightness in my stomach
a distress restricts my steps
i can't put these thoughts to rest
i hate living in my head
release me from my mind
sometimes i want to die
i don't know that self
i swept and kept shelved
but my head would rattle
rattle and rattle
one day i fell
not me but myself
that self on the shelf
i didn't know it was me
i picked up a piece
to match a knob to a key
they weren't interlocking
a socket missing
i tried gently
my patience weak
why won't they fit
am i not this
myself isn't me
but i can't leave things be
so i forced the piece
now am i complete?
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2. |
How To Break A Circle
03:07
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i think i've got down how to walk in a circle
how to look at the same things and take away nothing
i've been looking at you so long that i don't know what you look like
so i forgo my foresight because i know that's not right
straighter, straighter, secant lines
vaguer, vaguer, connect the lines
you make me feel like i'm tracing a sector
so i'll lighten the pressure until i pinpoint the center
dither, why can't i
break off, start a new line
there's more to me than seeing you seeing me
you're a crinkle, you're a smudge
you're a weakness and a strength
you're a tangent, you're a segment
you're the center and the contour
i'm just trying but i can't break it
i never said i'd want to feel like i'm good enough
to trace and place the shapes as they lay, as they lay, as they
i never, ever spun the wheel to see how it works
but poked my pointer in the spokes to stop it from whirling so
i never, ever, ever feel like i'm good enough
oh when, oh when will be the day when the circle breaks and makes new shapes
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3. |
Lockers
03:14
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i keep many keys on me
for many lockers i upkeep
jangling, a ruckus when i roam the halls
hush now, it's not just me the screech troubles
you lent me a seed that would become a lotus
entrusted in my care from you're pond, and now where?
all i want is to
to nurture the small thing
from murky beginnings
to purely pretty blooms
and offer it to you
plant it out in the free and open
instead i stowed it alone
shrivel, shrivel, as leaves leave brittle
upheavals more and more prone
locker to locker, i shuffled it often
to fend off prying eyes, until latch and the strike
time, time, after time, frequent use, misalign
lockers, lockers, lockers, lockers
how many will i squander
seedlings die, soil line, deprived of light, out of sight
water, water, water, water
whence it wilts it will remain
turn the lock, ran in shock, squeezed the key so tightly
caustic, caustic, caustic, caustic
burnt me so, I fled to toss it
tears, tears, after years, dissipate, disappear
stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it
came across the key i casted
just like that i was back
the locker a coffin
the grief and the guilt had
embalmed me, can't keep cowering
muster, muster up the valor, very scared, saddled, addled
lockers, lockers, lockers, lockers
kept estranged my captive monster
foul, foul odors yowl through the slit, take a glimpse
stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it
it's not my fault, i didn't cause it
ponder, ponder when and whether would i rather come back later
better yet, safer bet, take the lock and switch for a
combination, might a maven brave and chastened one day aid in
proctor, proctor, proctoring me in retrieving
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4. |
Armadillo
03:40
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i spent morning to night sharpening my claws for fight or flight
back to my burrow, where no friend nor foe dare follow
i need to get some sleep, so i can clearly think, i don't want to decide
dig deep down or let it go, because nothing's forever
nothing's forever
my armor makes me brute, but between the scutes i lay bare all
my skin, so soft and thin, punctured by just a prick, i am weak but
i smell miles away the bullshit you say, why must you tell lies
i keep closed my eyes, nothing's forever
nothing's forever
this is too tough to chew
can't stomach what's the truth
blown out of proportion
i'll either sink or swim
inflate to twice my size
buoyancy's on my side
afloat for moment's time
but nothing's forever
nothing's forever
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5. |
Curfew Calls
04:42
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everyday, ungraced by sleep
show up to work, my paint peeling
i chip away to fix my face
unblemishing my humanity
slit, grit, brittle pith
graze and groom will scathe and bruise
fence grew like bamboo
rigid rules instate curfew
carefully tip toeing
fragile sculptings, weakened floor beams
loose screws, obstructed views
maintenance past due, can't fix with glue
every night, brace myself
routine plight, begin to delve
deep into a destitute
place of purging, self unlearning
slit, grit, brittle pith
graze and groom will scathe and bruise
fence grew like bamboo
rigid rules instate curfew
promise callousness
won't stiffen you've all but ridden
ghoul's tools animate you
and chisel me undesirably
why do you attempt to barge my walls
you could come in if you ask permission
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