1. |
Arrow's Anchor
03:28
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a bitter taste in my mouth
an infrequent drip became such a grant amount
i want the want to live
i want to believe there's a way to break this
i want the want to live
i want to believe my life has purpose
dejected sail away
an amulet i wore kept colossal waves at bay
the relics i renounce
lend themselves not to "whether" but myself
i want the want to live
i see a buoy on the horizon
i want the want to live
i want the strength to hoist the anchor
mellow in the shallow splish splash
splish splash, enjoy that, it won't last
you'll wallow in the shallow until the crash
crish crash, thrish thrash
mend the mast, ride the draft
i want to want to live
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2. |
Brush Bleed's Brink
03:59
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crumpled into a ball
tossed out amongst the sprawl
pages after pages of the same lines left abrasions
tracing until it's muscle memory
is this your method of recounting
revising ever so slightly
unwitting or contriving?
i've seen you carve your path
at first i had your back
stabbing after stabbing until each friend turned enemy
fresh blood you paint with on your palette
each time renders you more callous
there are reasons that you are so wretched
i can see the demons in your hatred
curled up into a ball
tossed out by the ones so close
anguish upon anguish left you sharpened for some revenge
paintbrush sedated all the ruckus
pleasure subdued frantic tremors
there are voices you can't get away from
there are choices dampened by commotion
now that we've crossed paths
there's no turning back
i offered you pastels but you wished to paint a hell
i misunderstood the premise
i held nothing but a canvas
you had a vision that no one else could see
we believed in to the point of bleeding
what's this
why'd you skew all the proportions
just to cut and rearrange in
such a way that has no semblance of its genesis
sticky the strongest of adhesives
once laid, however aimlessly
took aim, punctured an artery
i hid the wound to make the blood clot
drip drip
i think i tore it back open
it stained the frame of your collages
i tried to help but just ruined everything
blame game
i never said that i was playing
blame game
winner take nothing
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3. |
Lint Roller
05:52
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i got rid of my rearview mirror
faced forward but kept sneaking glances
until that day i snapped back in terror
split second swerve right before collison
over my should there's a lot to see
it's easy to rotate 180 degrees
but will i ever see the things you see
driving opposite routes on a northbound street
am i wrong
i look for signs
am i wrong
was i avoiding them the whole ride
what drives you what tell you that you're right
who are you and what gives you the right
we both used to gaze upon the same hill
we were both used to sharing the same route
i got rid of my sideview mirrors
if i stay in one lane i'll be okay
the further i went the more i was pacified
hit a bump when i started to stray
popped open the glove compartment drawer
flashlight and lint roller hit the floor
took me back to when you sat beside me
shined the lights on spots of mine most dreggy
you said to be taken seriously
i ought to clean up but i was steering
you offered to take the wheel i refused help
that was the last time we saw at eye level
am i right
i look for signs
am i right
looks as such if i squinch my eyes
do you look on or above
no matter how tall or small
it's easier to look down upon
i should have proceeded with caution
had that glove compartment not opened
i wouldn't have fears rimming my eyelids
sooner would have seen the roadblock ahead
had a chance to remove the lint roller wedged
under the break it rolled when i sped
neglected the present and the future ahead
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4. |
Misfortune Teller
03:30
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misfortune teller tell me what you see
do former seeks agree
do they heed
i near the spot where i burry dreadful thoughts
i cant get lost lassoed to your knot
with concerns of my fate
what do you say observation's role plays
obstructing?
i'm losing touch
what is it i sought
there's will, there's luck
there's an omen in my glove
misfortune teller my knot loosened a lot
my glove's grip cannot aid so what do you want
i have a coin to keep us adjoined
will you anoint
invigorate my joints
squeaks turn to chimes in time
events align, how so
you tug my rope, don't you
it's all for show
mesmerize
tinctures and totems
scriptures and poems
blanketed mantras
hogwash and fables
incantations and chants
i want you out of my head
allusions you invent
clearly false i still submit
charm with the sleight of hand
itsy bitsy spider webs
seep into spider veins
your toxicity will be the end of me
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5. |
||||
meet, greet, entreat, discreet
pure heart, so smart, play your cards
fob off, small talk, tall talk
friendships that promise a pension
old days we'd hang before we made waves
it got rocky, it got cloudy when the storm came
truss rods rusted, faltered
our rapport diluted in the downpour
where were you when i needed you
when i split in two where were you
wait, wait, settle down
huffing and puffing
turning nothing to something
isn't fun for me
it won't get us to something sound
tick tock, sit around
our skin is not fairer
hair grayer not greater
i'm no arbitrator
we need an ice breaker now
flip flop, flaking out
we haven't caught up
we were both climbing up
my footing i had flubbed
my wrist i roughed from falling down
what's this all about
resolve in a dither
with words way more crisper
but now times are different
your image horizon bound
straggly
going
gone
we are not the same anymore
our friendship bracelets weathered, torn
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6. |
Read Mirror
02:57
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it's not about what you say
it's about how i feel uncomfortable in my skin
hideous
there is no reasoning
you don't listen when i try to reason with you
sure i do
you don't care about me
look at what's happened since i got aquatinted with you
not true
help me i plead i scream
but my lips are locked in a state of paralysis
liar
are you me, am i you
i don't know where you end and where i start to begin
hideous
what is false, what is true
when i look in the mirror do i see more or see you
sure i do
are you me, am i you
i don't know where you end and where i start to begin
not true
what is false, what is true
when i look in the mirror do i see more or see you
liar
think o' think
i need a second to think
you're right beneath my eyelids
eventually an eye will blink
i give into the itch
i see myself differently than the mirror displays
which identity is me
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7. |
Six Stalks
03:22
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this wound that i nurse on my breast from lashes and lashes
i rove back and forth to montrose, never set foot on the train though
infection and disaffection can't curb affixation
i hear echoes in my slumber chanting plunder, plunder, plunder
night terrors that ting in your chest pivot when pressed by index
longing, silently suspended, feigning, resist by circumvention
i don't think how you think i think, i can't calm every craving
quarrel — there's two of you inside me muffled, contrasting, overlapping
nodes expand and expand as i kneel to the racket inside
foolish — chucked your fruit but left your seedlings
i wish i never let you near me
bamboo bound impregnable mount i've tried and tried can't break out
hunger — can't stand it any longer
hunger is eating at me now i can't
had a lucky break now
six stalks sprouted, count them
finally i'm unbound
overcame its might, might i say
sometimes i speak too sound
by the wane of the moon
six stalks dwindled down to four
fast fast growing fast now
failed to see it fully fleshed out
with the fire fire blazing all around
unheeding, feeding, feigning, fawning, feeding, needing
fire fire blazing all around
diabolical and unbound
fast fast growing fast now
can't contain, can't control
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8. |
Pincushion
03:35
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high up in the annex
is that okay i want that
brief break from the panic
squalor sans theatrics
impatient for serenity
i permit myself have a peak
catch glances of calamity
gaze out instead inside of me
unkept — debris falling from the crumbling ceilings so watch your step
see clearly from a vantage point where the road cuts and dips
but my shouts and shrieks fall faint as squeaks
by the time they reach you, you are alone
i give everything that you want
i do everything that you say
but i am not the one in your head
only you can walk the walkway
i can see impedance gaining
i can see you shoulder the weight
i cannot help you to sift through this looming dismay
i reave your pincushion, let alone
this wound you insist to poke
forge the pinhole through fractured windows
this skewed view's equivocal
echoes, flat notes
choices narrowed
patience, maintenance
all there is left is to wait
to sew up the wounds we create
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9. |
Katariina
00:45
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10. |
Seamstress
05:07
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old shirt, new rips
same spot, seam split
night air frigid
still i sport it
itchy sweater, took off layers
exposed, skin red, frostbite numbing
need not a map, faulty compass
circled me back time and time again
cold hands, no mitts
swollen, limp grip
gust blows, lose breath
nearing cliff's edge
footing slipping, heartbeat skipping
find my focus, take hold of this
next week's forecast calm skies promised
find my center, follow suture
fate, dread, tears drip
freeze, stiff, fears shift
i await your sewing kit and your careful touch
to get me back on the mend, pull my strings pull me up again
benchmark, same spot
patchwork sewn shut
worsted, front side
with nap behind
tip toe sideways, evade their blaze
they'll burn new holes, heated needles
keep my head down while they make rounds
worse through winter, find my center
old spot, new itch
same shit, leave it
the more i fidget
the hole will grow
footing slipping, heartbeat skipping
find my focus, take hold of this
next week's forecast calm skies promised
find my center, follow suture
fate, dread, tears drip
freeze, stiff, fears shift
i await your sewing kit and your careful cross stitch
to get me back on the mend, pull my strings pull me up again
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11. |
Sibyl's Dream
03:56
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i stare at the water
what has become a tear rolls down my face
i stare at the water
what has become and i freight for our fate
i saw a parking lot that once was a pond
i saw a darkened sky shrouded in smog
agriculture led deforestation
i saw a rainforest at the brink of extinction
i saw disparity of fissuring
between investor class and wage earning
i saw the dawn of prisons privatizing
they put their profits before human beings
i saw convictions given disproportionately
i saw skin color fix the outcome of the plea
i saw the increase of militarizing
no justice for innocent murdered by police
i saw a common cause create community
foregoing differences instead denouncing
a nation of intolerance divided by hate
i saw a harrowed path we didn't have to take
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12. |
Old Flame
05:18
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anxious for time to pass
flip again my hourglass
while you draw lines in the sand
think back to simpler times
two kids who met someone alike
you and i after school every time
what were we waiting for
do you think about things at all
artifacts
our shared past
looks different from where we stand
after two million minutes
castles caved, tides have risen
skin thinner, less elastic
imagination more pragmatic
not in touch with where we stand now
are you on a sandbank or deep down
do you feel anything at all
when you go about your day
when you think about your fate
when you wake up each morning
is the smile you wear strained
because i don't believe in anything
i don't find meaning in your occurrences in my dreams
i want you out of my head
and yet i've always wished
you light my flame
how long must i wait
with desire
after all these days
not much has changed
oh, desire
the more you fade, the more i crave
oh, desire
you light my flame
but now it's too late
with this desire
do you feel anything at all
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